Very amusing post, had me chuckling away to myself, as said, the 650 is a superb bike, also second hand Honda transalp is a mega reliable easy to live with machine, I live them.
If you do want a but more a post 2014 1000 strom, or Veek as they get called, is a fine mile muncher with good manners, though two up a new rear shock though not necessary, would improve the bike a bit as its a little soft.