Author Topic: REALLY Bad Jokes (Read 170353 times)

SteveO · « **Reply #1360 on:** December 16, 2022, 05:37:57 »

My wife told me she's been doing yoga every day when I'm at work. I said "Every day? That's a bit of a stretch"

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #1361 on:** December 16, 2022, 14:49:10 »

Every morning this week I've spent 15 minutes scraping the global warming off my windscreen...

Hugo Magnus · « **Reply #1362 on:** December 16, 2022, 14:58:49 »

Yes, I'm piling logs onto the fire to combat the effects.

Mr Nick · « **Reply #1363 on:** December 19, 2022, 11:34:42 »

I don't care if it was autocorrect: this is what you asked me to get...

kwackboy · « **Reply #1364 on:** December 20, 2022, 06:30:50 »

2112 · « **Reply #1365 on:** December 20, 2022, 07:26:51 »

So, so frustratingly true

Brockett · « **Reply #1366 on:** December 21, 2022, 21:54:23 »

When there's snow the Snowmen visit and as it warms they swim away.

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #1367 on:** December 24, 2022, 13:56:44 »

I paid a carpenter cash to build us a bespoke double bed. Now I've found out he's done a bunk.
It's just one thing on top of another!

MartinW · « **Reply #1368 on:** December 28, 2022, 01:24:52 »

Do Songbirds get mad with Hummingbirds because they don't know the words?

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #1369 on:** December 28, 2022, 20:13:32 »

At Christmas I got together with a few close friends. There was Lee, Mary, Bing, Don and myself.
Or to put it another way, Bing, Don, Mary, Lee and I...

kwackboy · « **Reply #1370 on:** December 30, 2022, 19:07:13 »

Me and the wife made love for 3 hours last night.

We role played...

I was the doctor and she was the patient.

I kept her in the waiting room for 2 hours 58 mins ..

MartinW · « **Reply #1371 on:** December 30, 2022, 21:08:32 »

At least she got an appointment.

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #1372 on:** January 04, 2023, 19:22:14 »

I see Sunak is suggesting kids should study maths until they're 18.
I think that's ridiculous, I studied maths until I was 16 and got by just fine.
What difference would another three years have made?

mr_diver · « **Reply #1373 on:** January 06, 2023, 07:40:21 »

mr_diver · « **Reply #1374 on:** January 07, 2023, 08:27:19 »

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #1375 on:** January 08, 2023, 11:08:02 »

I’m developing a mind controlled air freshener.
It makes scents when you think about it.

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #1376 on:** January 08, 2023, 11:09:13 »

My New Year resolution is going really well. No Chocolates. Not even thinking about Chocolate.
The word is not even in my vocadbury.

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #1377 on:** January 08, 2023, 11:10:27 »

I haven't kept up my subscription to the Scrabble Club.
Now they've started sending me threatening letters.

kwackboy · « **Reply #1378 on:** January 09, 2023, 12:18:06 »

I've got a grandson, he can't say "please" in Spanish..?

That's real poor for 4 , don't you think ..?

SteveO · « **Reply #1379 on:** January 09, 2023, 21:38:57 »