Author Topic: REALLY Bad Jokes (Read 170400 times)

kwackboy · « **Reply #1340 on:** December 01, 2022, 14:50:36 »

I pulled a sickie the other day ....

Its one of the perks of working in a hospital...

kwackboy · « **Reply #1341 on:** December 03, 2022, 19:17:38 »

I use to date a parachutist with IBS ...

She shat on me from a great height.. !!

Brockett · « **Reply #1342 on:** December 04, 2022, 00:20:15 »

Sorry but it made me laugh

Brockett · « **Reply #1343 on:** December 05, 2022, 22:07:23 »

Getting old is when, working on your bike, it takes longer to get up or down than it does to do whatever it was you're getting up and down to do.

Hugo Magnus · « **Reply #1344 on:** December 06, 2022, 06:34:55 »

Yes, that IS a really bad joke.
Happy Christmas Brockett

Mr Nick · « **Reply #1345 on:** December 06, 2022, 12:52:47 »

Just be thankful you still remember what it was you spent all that time getting down there to do....

MartinW · « **Reply #1346 on:** December 06, 2022, 19:23:03 »

Too much? .....

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #1347 on:** December 07, 2022, 21:25:40 »

I failed my ventriloquist exam…

I can't say I'm surprised.

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #1348 on:** December 07, 2022, 21:26:59 »

I went to the chip shop and asked for a jumbo sausage, she said, "It won’t be long."

I said, "It bloody better be!"

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #1349 on:** December 07, 2022, 21:27:41 »

I hear that anger management courses are becoming all the rage.

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #1350 on:** December 07, 2022, 21:28:34 »

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted for Christmas. "Just some chocolate and a little surprise." she said.

Kinder egg it is then!

2112 · « **Reply #1351 on:** December 08, 2022, 18:56:34 »

I was standing on the scales in the bathroom this morning when the Mrs stuck her head around the door. "Sucking Your belly in won't help, you'll still be the same weight" she said. "Yes", I replied "but it's the only way I can see the dial"...

Hugo Magnus · « **Reply #1352 on:** December 09, 2022, 16:48:25 »

My son has been chewing electric wires, what should I do?

Ground him until he conducts himself properly!

Rookie · « **Reply #1353 on:** December 10, 2022, 19:29:02 »

My wife has told me to get more in touch with my feminine side . So I've crashed the car, and haven't talked to her for the rest of the day .

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #1354 on:** December 13, 2022, 09:25:35 »

I was on ‘Who wants to be a millionaire’
I was stuck on a question ..........
Name a 1984 film staring Bill Murray, Dan Aykroid and Rik Moranis
I asked if I could call a friend.
Jeremy Clarkson said
"Who you going to call?"

grumps · « **Reply #1355 on:** December 13, 2022, 10:06:35 »

It has to be cold. Today I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pocket.😂

Mr Nick · « **Reply #1356 on:** December 14, 2022, 10:46:02 »

In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him.
To be fair though, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.

SteveO · « **Reply #1357 on:** December 14, 2022, 22:06:00 »

SteveO · « **Reply #1358 on:** December 14, 2022, 22:06:37 »

SteveO · « **Reply #1359 on:** December 14, 2022, 22:07:03 »