Author Topic: REALLY Bad Jokes (Read 170448 times)

Rusty Nuts · « **Reply #1300 on:** November 16, 2022, 18:00:09 »

Sp-arse woodland.

Joe Rocket · « **Reply #1301 on:** November 16, 2022, 18:35:35 »

Not really related but a loose side story, I hear you're swapping toilet rolls for eggs in the UK.........

Rusty Nuts · « **Reply #1302 on:** November 16, 2022, 18:40:00 »

Haven't tried that, can't imagine it'd be as effective.

Although Stalllone had three sea shells....

Rixington43 · « **Reply #1303 on:** November 16, 2022, 18:48:12 »

We sure are, that's the last vegan omelette I'll ever order....

MartinW · « **Reply #1304 on:** November 16, 2022, 19:13:04 »

That's because nobody swaps Toilet Roll for garlic.

Joe Rocket · « **Reply #1305 on:** November 16, 2022, 21:21:37 »

No shortage of garlic Martin.

To be fair we had another run on the petrol pumps yesterday because the government ended their subsidy on fuel today by two thirds so everyone (not me though) queued up to 'top up'. Relief, no queues today........

kwackboy · « **Reply #1306 on:** November 18, 2022, 18:03:51 »

I used to date a girl who loved to be covered in cheese.

She was a cracker.

Hugo Magnus · « **Reply #1307 on:** November 19, 2022, 08:17:23 »

Did you take her to the Ritz?

Rusty Nuts · « **Reply #1308 on:** November 19, 2022, 09:55:45 »

Did you take her up the Cheddar Gorge?

Rixington43 · « **Reply #1309 on:** November 19, 2022, 10:34:08 »

Something something, Wookie Hole..........

Keith60 · « **Reply #1310 on:** November 19, 2022, 20:56:43 »

Or….did you Gorge on her Cheddar!

kwackboy · « **Reply #1311 on:** November 19, 2022, 21:42:11 »

I'm looking to buy an old lighthouse.

Nothing flashy mind .

V-Twin · « **Reply #1312 on:** November 19, 2022, 21:44:38 »

With the cost of energy nowadays, I would be wanting to sell the light house.

Comes to mind.

Joe Rocket · « **Reply #1313 on:** November 19, 2022, 21:54:52 »

Blindingly expensive......

Rusty Nuts · « **Reply #1314 on:** November 19, 2022, 22:21:59 »

Not to mention the price of stair carpet.

MartinW · « **Reply #1315 on:** November 19, 2022, 22:28:59 »

Why is it called a lighthouse anyway? They usually weigh about 800 tons.

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #1316 on:** November 20, 2022, 21:23:36 »

I hear Simply Red have teamed up with Budweiser to release the official Qatar World Cup Football anthem.
“Holding back the beers”.

kwackboy · « **Reply #1317 on:** November 23, 2022, 06:31:14 »

My wife and I met on a website for dolphin impersonators.

We clicked straight away…

kwackboy · « **Reply #1318 on:** November 23, 2022, 22:04:51 »

I met a Dalek in the pub who claimed he was from Devon so I asked him “Whereabouts in Devon are you from mate ?”

He replied “EXETER MATE! EXETER MATE!”

Rusty Nuts · « **Reply #1319 on:** November 23, 2022, 23:03:15 »

I've just heard they're not making 12" rulers any longer.