Author Topic: REALLY Bad Jokes (Read 170480 times)

MartinW · « **Reply #1260 on:** October 31, 2022, 19:10:54 »

I just went to a fancy dress shop to buy a Dracula outfit for Halloween.

The owner gave me a BMW GS shirt.

I said "I'm sorry, but I think you must have misheard me. I said I wanted to look like a Count"

StromGeeza · « **Reply #1261 on:** October 31, 2022, 20:09:32 »

"Who's your favourite vampire?"
"That one from Sesame Street."
"He doesn't count!"
"I'm pretty sure he does just that."

kwackboy · « **Reply #1262 on:** November 01, 2022, 19:05:40 »

I opened the door to a trick or treater last night who was wearing a Gloria Gaynor mask

At first I was afraid............

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #1263 on:** November 03, 2022, 18:48:04 »

I won gold medal at the weather forecasting championships today.
In fact, I beat the reigning champion.

Hugo Magnus · « **Reply #1264 on:** November 03, 2022, 20:44:59 »

That's a pour joke.

MartinW · « **Reply #1265 on:** November 05, 2022, 12:26:59 »

Thanks Hugo. We will now have to prepare for a deluge of rain related jokes.

Mr Nick · « **Reply #1266 on:** November 05, 2022, 13:01:52 »

Mr Nick · « **Reply #1267 on:** November 08, 2022, 21:18:35 »

Reports are coming in that Boy George has been attacked by a reptile in I'm A Celebrity.
It should have been a calmer Chameleon, but they come and go.

Joe Rocket · « **Reply #1268 on:** November 08, 2022, 21:55:29 »

That's a 'Canogo Dragon' joke Mr Nick.......

MartinW · « **Reply #1269 on:** November 08, 2022, 22:09:06 »

Boy George said to the reptile "do you really want to hurt me?" And the reptile said "too right"

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #1270 on:** November 09, 2022, 20:40:12 »

Next time you're in a restaurant confuse the staff (if they're under 40) when they ask "Would you like to see the specials?" by saying "Only if they sing Ghost Town."

2112 · « **Reply #1271 on:** November 10, 2022, 18:07:19 »

My wife said the other day "I think the washing machine has shrunk my jeans", "more like the fridge" was my reply...

kwackboy · « **Reply #1272 on:** November 13, 2022, 09:46:23 »

I've nearly finished my degree in sandwich fillings…

I do my final eggs ham tomorrow.

If I pass , I'll get lettuce after my name ...

BLT ..

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #1273 on:** November 14, 2022, 19:40:14 »

Warning!! I paid the £4 it was really boring.

MartinW · « **Reply #1274 on:** November 14, 2022, 19:44:38 »

You're Ever Ready with the bad jokes Mick.

Hugo Magnus · « **Reply #1275 on:** November 14, 2022, 21:14:09 »

You should be charged Martin

V-Twin · « **Reply #1276 on:** November 14, 2022, 21:15:29 »

Or put in a cell.

user650 · « **Reply #1277 on:** November 14, 2022, 21:31:14 »

That's a bit negative.

Hugo Magnus · « **Reply #1278 on:** November 15, 2022, 06:21:04 »

Assault and battery

kwackboy · « **Reply #1279 on:** November 15, 2022, 10:07:58 »

Time will tell if you remain positive +