Author Topic: REALLY Bad Jokes (Read 170088 times)

MartinW · « **Reply #922 on:** October 31, 2021, 20:59:07 »

Insert helmet jokes here.

Graham62 · « **Reply #923 on:** October 31, 2021, 22:08:57 »

If the hat fits. 😁

kwackboy · « **Reply #924 on:** November 01, 2021, 15:27:22 »

Stole this one ..

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #925 on:** November 03, 2021, 18:57:42 »

MartinW · « **Reply #926 on:** November 03, 2021, 20:36:40 »

They have just finished putting Stonehenge back an hour.

kwackboy · « **Reply #927 on:** November 04, 2021, 06:25:24 »

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #928 on:** November 05, 2021, 13:36:55 »

A Yorkshire man walks into the vets,
"Summat up wi' t' cat".
Vet: "Is it a tom?.
Yorkshire man: Nah, it's 'ere int' basket".

sillyboy · « **Reply #929 on:** November 06, 2021, 12:24:56 »

one day the wife was bent down looking in the fridge. I was overcome with lust and took her there and then. we are now banned from currys.

Mr Nick · « **Reply #930 on:** November 09, 2021, 12:58:53 »

I was told about a novel where Schrodinger's cat & Pavlov's dog team up for an adventure story, so I rang the local library to see if they had a copy.

The librarian said my description rang a bell but wasn't sure if the book was there or not.

kwackboy · « **Reply #931 on:** November 10, 2021, 18:59:20 »

MartinW · « **Reply #932 on:** November 10, 2021, 19:18:06 »

If it's for that demographic then doesn't it need a "Breakfast" button too.

Brockett · « **Reply #933 on:** November 11, 2021, 11:31:52 »

more likely just a breakfast button.

Mr Nick · « **Reply #934 on:** November 13, 2021, 11:47:56 »

The sky was looking ominous so I asked Siri, “Surely, it’s not going to rain today?”
And she replied, “Yes it is, and don’t call me Shirley.”
That was when I realised I’d left my phone on Airplane mode.

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #935 on:** November 17, 2021, 19:19:32 »

Just just finished an excellent book entitled 'Fights on a Narrow Boat'.
If you're interested the author was a chap called R.G. Bargee.

Rusty Nuts · « **Reply #936 on:** November 17, 2021, 19:34:28 »

Reminds me of the side dishes in my favourite curry house in Buenos Aires........

Mr Nick · « **Reply #937 on:** November 17, 2021, 21:44:25 »

A scientist, a doctor, and an anti-vaxer walk into a bar.
The scientist sits down at the bar and says, "I'll have a Jack and Coke!"
The doctor sits next to her and says, "Give me a Bacardi and coke!"
The anti-vaxer says, "No shots for me."
She then collapses and dies from polio.

Rusty Nuts · « **Reply #938 on:** November 17, 2021, 21:48:57 »

( I'd forgotten the polio, measles and tb immunisations we were "forced" to have at school when making my list)

Mr Nick · « **Reply #939 on:** November 19, 2021, 20:25:51 »

My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.

I told them, "Just you wait!"