Author Topic: REALLY Bad Jokes (Read 170087 times)

Brockett · « **Reply #901 on:** September 27, 2021, 14:50:53 »

Quack!
Quack!
Quack!
Right then that's enough fowl language from me so I'm off

Mr Nick · « **Reply #902 on:** September 27, 2021, 15:25:47 »

Che ep joke there Mr B: you can cluck off now...

SteveO · « **Reply #903 on:** September 30, 2021, 22:54:17 »

kwackboy · « **Reply #904 on:** October 01, 2021, 08:21:57 »

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #905 on:** October 06, 2021, 22:28:48 »

In light of the fuel crisis and thinking about my carbon footprint I have changed the engine of my car to the motor out of a washing machine.

I'm taking it out for a spin tomorrow.

Youngman · « **Reply #906 on:** October 06, 2021, 23:41:16 »

How do you catch a rabbit?

Hide behind a tree and make a noise like a lettuce.

Mr Nick · « **Reply #907 on:** October 10, 2021, 19:03:09 »

My new girlfriend's car got a flat tyre as we were on our way to see my parents, so I called them up and said, "Sorry Mum, I'm going to be late, my girlfriend's got a puncture."
"Oh..." she sighed. "I thought you had a real one this time"

mr_diver · « **Reply #908 on:** October 17, 2021, 12:16:40 »

MartinW · « **Reply #909 on:** October 17, 2021, 12:28:38 »

I must clean my screen.

Brockett · « **Reply #910 on:** October 21, 2021, 21:20:56 »

I just got back home from attending a friends funeral after he died in a drowning accident. His family were not at all happy with my floral tribute in the shape of a life buoy. But I'm sure it is what he would have wanted.

MartinW · « **Reply #911 on:** October 22, 2021, 20:21:00 »

Always keep an empty milk bottle in the fridge in case an unexpected visitor asks for a Black Coffee.

Mr Nick · « **Reply #912 on:** October 22, 2021, 23:07:55 »

Turns out that, if you leave milk long enough, it goes black all by itself. On an unrelated note, used fridge for sale - would suit someone with no sense of smell...

mr_diver · « **Reply #913 on:** October 23, 2021, 17:54:36 »

MartinW · « **Reply #914 on:** October 29, 2021, 16:17:06 »

I just got a ticket for doing 69 on a Motorway.

I think the Police saw her ankles sticking out the sunroof.

Mr Nick · « **Reply #915 on:** October 29, 2021, 21:48:56 »

We've just been to B & Q and the wife has got a ladder in her tights.

She's an amazing shoplifter.

Mr Nick · « **Reply #916 on:** October 30, 2021, 10:39:16 »

While out shopping for a present for the wife, I saw this bra today. Gorgeous soft, frilly lace. Like velvet in my fingers.
The woman wearing it didn't seem happy though.

kwackboy · « **Reply #917 on:** October 30, 2021, 10:44:39 »

Asmith61 · « **Reply #918 on:** October 30, 2021, 11:39:32 »

like that kwackboy

mr_diver · « **Reply #919 on:** October 30, 2021, 19:25:05 »