Author Topic: REALLY Bad Jokes (Read 169907 times)

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #740 on:** January 03, 2021, 19:41:03 »

I have been cleaning out my garage and I've found a box full of old, dead batteries.
Anyone want them?

They’re free of charge.

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #741 on:** January 03, 2021, 19:42:26 »

Numbers one to nine of the most common sports injuries are to the legs, head or back.
Ten is elbow.

Brockett · « **Reply #742 on:** January 07, 2021, 15:15:37 »

My first lockdown laugh of the day.

Brockett · « **Reply #743 on:** January 07, 2021, 15:23:13 »

Covid-19 advice

Rusty Nuts · « **Reply #744 on:** January 07, 2021, 16:34:17 »

You've got to love a quarterlight. Those and wing mirrors, as in mirrors mounted on the wing not the door.

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #745 on:** January 12, 2021, 18:05:03 »

Today has been declared International Day of Sound Checking..........
Today's date.............12.1.21

kwackboy · « **Reply #746 on:** January 12, 2021, 18:12:13 »

Rusty Nuts · « **Reply #747 on:** January 12, 2021, 18:22:23 »

Mick's joke reminds me about the time I was working as a cocktail barman. A lady walked in and asked for a double entendre, so I gave her one. Then a (female) sound engineer asked for the same, so I gave her one, too.

Ianmc · « **Reply #748 on:** January 12, 2021, 19:20:37 »

“You've got to love a quarterlight. Those and wing mirrors, as in mirrors mounted on the wing not the door.

“

I used to hate drilling and fitting wing mirrors, one slip and it wrecks the paint on a brand new car.

user650 · « **Reply #749 on:** January 13, 2021, 00:44:38 »

Elton John doesn't like iceberg lettuce because he's a Rocket Man.....

Hugo Magnus · « **Reply #750 on:** January 13, 2021, 08:46:04 »

Stop! just stop; I can't take any more

SteveO · « **Reply #751 on:** January 21, 2021, 18:39:23 »

SteveO · « **Reply #752 on:** January 21, 2021, 18:40:12 »

Rusty Nuts · « **Reply #753 on:** January 21, 2021, 18:57:44 »

Every Thursday night since 1986. Nowt new there.

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #754 on:** January 21, 2021, 19:44:24 »

The fact that some people can't distinguish between etymology and entomology bugs me in more ways than I can put into words.

Brockett · « **Reply #755 on:** January 22, 2021, 22:35:19 »

To catch a polar bear.....
Cut a 5 foot hole in the ice on a lake
Catch a fish and tie it to a stick spanning the hole
When the bear leans over to get the fish
Kick it in the ice hole

2112 · « **Reply #756 on:** January 23, 2021, 10:06:00 »

I saw a very attractive lady standing alone at the bar drinking a bright red cocktail. Not one to miss a chance I sideled over to her and said "bloody mary"? she replied "no, friggin Deborah"....

2112 · « **Reply #757 on:** February 03, 2021, 08:03:08 »

Too soon ?

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #758 on:** February 03, 2021, 08:22:39 »

Maybe? But that's what makes it bad ... in one way.

Hugo Magnus · « **Reply #759 on:** February 03, 2021, 13:56:56 »

Like it or not that is very English humour. Some will find it crass but it made me smile.