Author Topic: REALLY Bad Jokes (Read 169504 times)

Rusty Nuts · « **Reply #720 on:** December 20, 2020, 20:50:55 »

You think that's bad?......

When Mr. and Mrs. Hall's water main burst this week, the water company sent out a wagon with a small trailer, or bowser, to keep them watered until repairs were completed. Unfortunately the wagon driver forgot to apply the trailer's handbrake before he uncoupled it, and it rolled down the householder's drive and knocked them over. A passing carol singer commented "you've just decked the Halls with bowser folly."

V-Twin · « **Reply #721 on:** December 25, 2020, 16:59:30 »

A team of 30 scientists at a camp in the North Pole have tested positive for the corona virus.
The Government says they are all safe, and intends to keep them Icesolated.

tallpaul · « **Reply #722 on:** December 25, 2020, 17:20:20 »

Seriously v-twin, send those crackers back. That was dreadful!

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #723 on:** December 25, 2020, 22:11:52 »

Sad news...
I broke up with my girlfriend Loraine...
She found out I was seeing another girl... Claire Lee...
Good news though...
I can see Claire Lee now Loraine has gone...

BlackRockFox · « **Reply #724 on:** December 26, 2020, 09:02:43 »

Tiers, tiers and yet more bloody tiers

BlackRockFox · « **Reply #725 on:** December 26, 2020, 09:06:10 »

Back in the day

SuzukiSte · « **Reply #726 on:** December 27, 2020, 14:02:11 »

I remember the Lorry coming round every week to pick up the empty bottles of pop, Cream Soda with ice cream yummy.

tallpaul · « **Reply #727 on:** December 28, 2020, 11:28:53 »

We got Ben Shaws round our way. You got 5p back when you returned the empties.

Joe Rocket · « **Reply #728 on:** December 28, 2020, 13:15:29 »

Don't you mean a shilling TP? It must have been in the 60's...........

user650 · « **Reply #729 on:** December 28, 2020, 13:17:46 »

Alpine pop around here, allowed one bottle a week

tallpaul · « **Reply #730 on:** December 28, 2020, 13:21:37 »

I was born in 1974, Joe. We were already decimal by then.

Rusty Nuts · « **Reply #731 on:** December 28, 2020, 13:58:16 »

What, even in Lancashire?

2112 · « **Reply #732 on:** December 28, 2020, 15:02:48 »

Quote from: tallpaul on December 28, 2020, 11:28:53

You got 5p back when you returned the empties.

As a young whipper snapper of around 8 or 9 we used to climb over the fence at the rear of the local shop and then pass the empties over to our mates. Give it 5 mins or so and then take them back for the 5p 'return'. A bit naughty and it helped me develop a Chipmunk crisps habit.

tallpaul · « **Reply #733 on:** December 28, 2020, 15:19:21 »

Enterprising stuff! Now they call it government...

Allegedly.

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #734 on:** December 28, 2020, 16:15:06 »

@ 2112, it is unfortunate to say we did worse than that! In our teens (late 60's) our local shop stored his full 'pop' bottles in a yard around the back of the shop. Access was over a 6' wall, easily assailable by us. We 'rescued' the bottles in the evening (closing in those days was around 5/6 pm), drank it on the local park, then took the empties back next day or two for the Thruppence in return.
We were smart enough to just 'rescue' one or two at a time and we managed a couple of summer holidays before broken glass appeared on top of the wall!

2112 · « **Reply #735 on:** December 28, 2020, 16:52:11 »

And I thought I was a rascal...

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #736 on:** December 28, 2020, 20:32:11 »

The big boys made me do it!!

2112 · « **Reply #737 on:** December 28, 2020, 23:04:07 »

We were all lead astray really....

BlackRockFox · « **Reply #738 on:** December 29, 2020, 18:34:04 »

Quote from: Joe Rocket on December 28, 2020, 13:15:29

Don't you mean a shilling TP? It must have been in the 60's...........

In the 60's it was sixpence, don't ask how I know!

Joe Rocket · « **Reply #739 on:** December 30, 2020, 17:42:28 »

Tallpaul mentioned 5p which is 1/20th of a pound; so too was a shilling.

It may have been sixpence for the return.