Author Topic: REALLY Bad Jokes (Read 170168 times)

Brockett · « **Reply #700 on:** November 29, 2020, 11:20:32 »

Is it true : that you can trust your dog to guard your home but not your sandwich?

Rusty Nuts · « **Reply #701 on:** November 29, 2020, 11:43:34 »

Ask TLPower!

falkland bomber · « **Reply #702 on:** November 29, 2020, 14:15:56 »

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall??

DAM

kwackboy · « **Reply #703 on:** November 30, 2020, 19:58:05 »

In news, our local Police are now cracking down on public urination and defecation on the streets.
A spokesman for the Police has stated that they have made this their number one and number two priority.

kwackboy · « **Reply #704 on:** December 01, 2020, 19:31:03 »

A boy turns up at school with his cat peeping out his bag, his teacher is very puzzled & asks him "Tommy what is your cat doing at school today?" Tommy answers "I heard the postman telling my mum when your kids have gone to school I'm going to eat your pussy! So I wasn't taking any chances!"

kwackboy · « **Reply #705 on:** December 07, 2020, 19:47:20 »

It appears Yorkshire has a big drug problem.

They are injecting drugs directly into the gum

Apparently, its called "E by Gum"

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #706 on:** December 08, 2020, 19:30:47 »

kwackboy · « **Reply #707 on:** December 08, 2020, 20:34:26 »

Hugo Magnus · « **Reply #708 on:** December 09, 2020, 07:35:09 »

Thanks kwackboy a one like is not enough!

2112 · « **Reply #709 on:** December 09, 2020, 16:25:56 »

I think my mate might be having an affair with my wife. he's been really miserable lately.

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #710 on:** December 10, 2020, 18:39:07 »

Thanks Ianmc

tallpaul · « **Reply #711 on:** December 10, 2020, 18:44:30 »

Ianmc sends some belters!

BlackRockFox · « **Reply #712 on:** December 11, 2020, 17:13:04 »

Why do Kwik Fit staff often look worn out?

...they are either tyred or exhausted

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #713 on:** December 12, 2020, 10:52:34 »

Did it ever occur to you that the only word spelled right in the dictionary is "right"
and the only word spelled wrong is "wrong?"

MartinW · « **Reply #714 on:** December 12, 2020, 13:48:27 »

All the time Mick.

Why isn't there an alternate word for Thesaurus though?

2112 · « **Reply #715 on:** December 13, 2020, 16:48:05 »

I went to the opticians today for my annual eye test. He sat me down and asked 'what can you see'. I replied, 'closed airports, closed shops, & closed pubs. He said 'great - you've got 2020 vision'...

Joe Rocket · « **Reply #716 on:** December 13, 2020, 19:10:30 »

In my opinion that's far too good to be posted here though.

Ambergnat · « **Reply #717 on:** December 18, 2020, 19:29:36 »

Agreed - this is the really Bad Jokes Section, that's way too good for here

user650 · « **Reply #718 on:** December 20, 2020, 20:06:48 »

A Viking called Rudolph the red looked out the window and said 'it's going to rain'
his wife said how do you know?
he said Rudolph the red knows rain, dear.

Brockett · « **Reply #719 on:** December 20, 2020, 20:40:25 »

There you go Ambergnat. That must make up for it.