Author Topic: REALLY Bad Jokes (Read 169927 times)

Ticker · « **Reply #540 on:** May 21, 2020, 20:06:58 »

100% Kwackboy, us Cornish boys don’t mess about

Tusker · « **Reply #541 on:** May 22, 2020, 09:16:41 »

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were freezing, so they lit a fire in the boat. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving "that you can't have your kayak and heat it".

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #542 on:** May 25, 2020, 17:55:38 »

I got really emotional at the petrol station last night...........I don't know why, I just started filling up.

Froglodyte · « **Reply #543 on:** May 25, 2020, 23:30:55 »

As a follow up to Tusker's comment, how about the chap who took his aging wildebeest to agility classes. It failed because, as you know, you can't teach an old gnu dog tricks.

Froglodyte · « **Reply #544 on:** May 26, 2020, 11:29:23 »

Breaking news!
Mick Hucknall (of Simply Red) has been arrested for having sex with a rabbit.
When questioned by police, he is alleged to have stated that he was just "Holding back the ears" and that "Bunny's too tight to mention".

SteveO · « **Reply #545 on:** May 28, 2020, 21:20:14 »

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #546 on:** May 30, 2020, 13:19:40 »

The seven Dwarfs have been told that from Monday they can meet in groups of six..........
one of them won't be happy.

MartinW · « **Reply #547 on:** May 30, 2020, 14:28:44 »

The World Paper Tearing Champion has died.

RIP

user650 · « **Reply #548 on:** May 30, 2020, 15:50:44 »

I asked for a helicopter biscuit but they didn't have one .... so I had a "Plane" one instead

MartinW · « **Reply #549 on:** May 30, 2020, 22:07:17 »

A Bishop, a Priest and a Rabbit go into a bar.

The Bartender says to the Rabbit, "what would you like to drink"

The Rabbit said "I don't know, I'm only here because of Spell Checker"

kwackboy · « **Reply #550 on:** June 04, 2020, 16:01:29 »

The Government in Egypt has asked the city's taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns.

It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquillity and normality following the recent pandemic.

Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week

kwackboy · « **Reply #551 on:** June 08, 2020, 15:08:06 »

There's a new conspiracy documentary on Netflix about covid-19.
Two blokes from the Wuhan research centre, where Trump suspects it was engineered, were due to get on MH370 that miraculously disappeared. Seems they were the blokes behind the development of the new strain and intending to use it as a weapon, someone caught wind of their plans and purposefully downed the plane. Neither of them got on the flight though. Have a look it's really interesting, it's called two wongs don't make a flight.

MartinW · « **Reply #552 on:** June 08, 2020, 15:09:54 »

I was beginning to think you had posted that in the wrong place

Or Wong place.

Ianmc · « **Reply #553 on:** June 08, 2020, 15:28:25 »

“A Bishop, a priest and a rabbit”
Sorry MartinW that one has gone over my head,I have looked a few times with no success.Can you give me a clue ?

Rusty Nuts · « **Reply #554 on:** June 08, 2020, 16:03:39 »

"Oy, Vey!"

There's a start.

Mr Nick · « **Reply #555 on:** June 08, 2020, 17:05:14 »

Another...

Rusty Nuts · « **Reply #556 on:** June 08, 2020, 18:17:44 »

Is that the Cheif Rabbit?
Oh, hang on, just found this....

MartinW · « **Reply #557 on:** June 08, 2020, 18:33:38 »

Quote from: Ianmc on June 08, 2020, 15:28:25

“A Bishop, a priest and a rabbit”

Spell Checker changed Rabbi to Rabbit. I thought it was bunny when I posted it.

Ianmc · « **Reply #558 on:** June 08, 2020, 19:30:28 »

Aaah,gorrit.Danke.

Ticker · « **Reply #559 on:** June 13, 2020, 14:16:47 »

A German walks into a bar.

'Martini'

'Dry?'

'Nein, just one'