Author Topic: REALLY Bad Jokes (Read 170173 times)

Dark-Strom · « **Reply #480 on:** February 07, 2020, 22:22:06 »

Whose to say the spring isn't round the corner, on a corner

7 days of Brexit and war is threatening

MartinW · « **Reply #481 on:** February 08, 2020, 08:16:13 »

Has anyone setup a Just Giving page for Gordon the Gopher?

MartinW · « **Reply #482 on:** February 08, 2020, 09:37:26 »

Quote from: StromGeeza on February 07, 2020, 21:07:49

The new rule will make discussion of suspension set-ups tricky...

You're right Geeza.

I was just trying to be Progressive and take a Leaf out of our Esteemed Leader Rat's policy of prohibiting certain topics of conversation. We need the forum to be Constant, but occasionally Variable too.

I realise this has caused some Tension for Spring Lovers and you are thinking to yourselves Cantilever alone instead of typing all this Gas?

I guess the silly jokes caused me to Coil up inside and I became highly Sprung. I will bounce back from this mistake.

tallpaul · « **Reply #483 on:** February 08, 2020, 13:33:43 »

Relax Martin, they're just talking a load of parabolics...

Rusty Nuts · « **Reply #484 on:** February 08, 2020, 13:52:47 »

Poor old Zebedee. He's only half the man he used to be

MartinW · « **Reply #485 on:** February 09, 2020, 12:14:57 »

Before you start popping Bubble Wrap, remember that the air in it came from China.

Rusty Nuts · « **Reply #486 on:** February 09, 2020, 13:05:15 »

When my sister moved house she bought an enormous roll of the stuff.
"Where do you want this?" I asked.
"Just pop it over there in the corner."
Three feckin' hours, it took me.

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #487 on:** February 09, 2020, 15:14:31 »

Storm Ciara has blown the roof of our local cheese factory...............................
there's de brie everywhere!

MartinW · « **Reply #488 on:** February 09, 2020, 19:19:36 »

Next Week is Diarrhoea Awareness Week.

Runs from Monday to Friday.

kwackboy · « **Reply #489 on:** February 10, 2020, 19:16:25 »

What's the three words you never want to hear while making love?

Honey, I'm home....

MartinW · « **Reply #490 on:** February 16, 2020, 09:17:57 »

I was looking over my Wife's shoulder when she was logging in to her bank account, and her password was just a series of asterisks. I didn't count them, but I'm sure after two or three attempts I'll be in there. Stupid cow.

user650 · « **Reply #491 on:** February 16, 2020, 23:45:48 »

Three weeks ago I sent my hearing aids in for repair. I've heard nothing since.

tallpaul · « **Reply #492 on:** February 16, 2020, 23:51:24 »

user650 · « **Reply #493 on:** February 17, 2020, 01:30:03 »

The Christmas jumper my girlfriend gave me last year kept picking up static electricity. I took it back and exchanged it for another one – free of charge

user650 · « **Reply #494 on:** February 23, 2020, 22:44:41 »

A Man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The bartender says “What an interesting pet, what's his name?” “Tiny” the man replies. “What an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?”

Because...he’s my newt

MartinW · « **Reply #495 on:** February 24, 2020, 22:01:19 »

I just met a girl with really bad ezcema. She had a cracking pair of boobs.

kwackboy · « **Reply #496 on:** February 24, 2020, 22:06:24 »

Mr tickle was keen to marry the girl of his dreams, however his future wife "Tess" was reluctant to take his surname..!!

MartinW · « **Reply #497 on:** March 01, 2020, 11:22:39 »

The man who developed the recipe for Boiled Eggs wrapped in Sausage Meat has died.

R.I.P Mr Scott Chegg.

tallpaul · « **Reply #498 on:** March 01, 2020, 12:50:14 »

The man who invented polyfilla has also passed away.
RIP Phil McAvity.

Joe Rocket · « **Reply #499 on:** March 01, 2020, 19:04:43 »

His best friend was Ben Doon............and the rest is a very old joke.