Author Topic: REALLY Bad Jokes (Read 169910 times)

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #440 on:** December 09, 2019, 14:58:33 »

Can anyone tell me what delegate means....................

asking for a friend.

kwackboy · « **Reply #441 on:** December 09, 2019, 18:32:11 »

Don't register for Tesco's new dating service.
My mate did and he ended up with a bag for life.

Joe Rocket · « **Reply #442 on:** December 09, 2019, 18:51:23 »

That'll be a bag for one week, I believe.

Froglodyte · « **Reply #443 on:** December 11, 2019, 16:17:35 »

Just ordered the wife's Christmas presents. Got her some perfume and a vibrator. If she doesn't like the perfume, she can go f*** herself!

kwackboy · « **Reply #444 on:** December 18, 2019, 15:10:46 »

kwackboy · « **Reply #445 on:** December 19, 2019, 13:26:13 »

Not so much a scam but I think I’m being ripped off by a local butcher.

They offered me 8 legs of Venison for £40.00 is that two deer?

kwackboy · « **Reply #446 on:** December 21, 2019, 18:19:46 »

My work Xmas do ended early for me

.

The music was great, they played the twist, so I twisted,
they also played jump, so I jumped enthusiastically,

They then played Come on Eileen ......

.

Early night for me ..

MartinW · « **Reply #447 on:** December 21, 2019, 22:15:43 »

It's either that or Come On Over Valerie.

MartinW · « **Reply #448 on:** January 04, 2020, 10:31:26 »

My Wife asked me to make her scream with one finger. So I poked her in the eye.

nickoff · « **Reply #449 on:** January 04, 2020, 11:08:43 »

My wife was feeling randy this morning. She cuddled up to me and whispered "I want something 9 inches long, hard as a rock and full of spunk". I reached under the bed and threw her one of my old socks.

Nick.

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #450 on:** January 05, 2020, 19:07:46 »

Ineedsomeadviseplease.Doesanyoneknowwhatthatlongbaratthebottomofthekeyboardisfor?

Joe Rocket · « **Reply #451 on:** January 05, 2020, 19:57:11 »

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahano

Rusty Nuts · « **Reply #452 on:** January 05, 2020, 20:34:41 »

Y E S

Brockett · « **Reply #453 on:** January 06, 2020, 02:54:42 »

It's where astronauts go for a drink??

Rusty Nuts · « **Reply #454 on:** January 12, 2020, 07:59:23 »

Quote from: nickoff on January 04, 2020, 11:08:43

My wife was feeling randy this morning. She cuddled up to me and whispered "I want something 9 inches long, hard as a rock and full of spunk". I reached under the bed and threw her one of my old socks.

Nick.

But then she said "I was rather hoping for a black one".

MartinW · « **Reply #455 on:** January 26, 2020, 08:39:27 »

I fell asleep on the sofa yesterday and when I woke up someone had put a teabag in my mouth.

I wasn't happy.

I hate being taken for a mug.

TLPower · « **Reply #456 on:** January 26, 2020, 15:21:31 »

kwackboy · « **Reply #457 on:** January 29, 2020, 19:53:19 »

Two old blokes sitting on a park bench discussing their past love lives.

One says , "when I was young I used get it every day" I loved it....

The other says " you lucky git, I used to get it once a month if I was lucky, it was called my Bruce Lee day "

"Bruce Lee day, Why was it called that..?"

It's was the night I "enter the dragon" ...

user650 · « **Reply #458 on:** January 29, 2020, 23:18:05 »

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #459 on:** January 30, 2020, 18:55:09 »

Little Johnny come home from school glum - dad asks "What’s wrong"?
Lad says "I cocked up on my spelling lessons".
Dad asks "What did you get wrong"?
Lad says "I spelt Armageddon wrong"...............
Dad says "Never mind son it’s not the end of the world".