Author Topic: REALLY Bad Jokes (Read 170310 times)

wurzel · « **Reply #300 on:** June 10, 2019, 23:30:06 »

That's quite a gouda joke.

wurzel · « **Reply #301 on:** June 10, 2019, 23:32:55 »

For the bear just a feta accompli.

timangus · « **Reply #302 on:** June 17, 2019, 05:52:54 »

I remember as a child my dad would put me inside a car tyre and roll me down a hill. They were Goodyears.

Tusker · « **Reply #303 on:** June 17, 2019, 09:16:41 »

I was driving through Wales when I saw a man on the edge of a field selling turnips, carrots, cabbages, paracetamol and and cough medicine. I said I get the vegatables but why are you selling paracetamol and cough medicine? He said
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in a Welsh accent
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"I'm a farmer see" .....

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #304 on:** June 17, 2019, 11:04:43 »

SuzukiSte · « **Reply #305 on:** June 17, 2019, 14:42:23 »

nice one

Mad Malone · « **Reply #306 on:** June 17, 2019, 15:30:10 »

there's lovely

SteveO · « **Reply #307 on:** June 24, 2019, 08:45:15 »

A man receives a text from his neighbour.

Bob, We’ve been neighbours for 30 years, and you couldn’t have been a better friend.
I am riddled with guilt, and have a confession to make. In recent years, I have been helping myself to your wife, day and night, when you’re not around. I don’t get it regularly at home, and your wife is far more satisfying than mine.
I have no excuse, except to promise that will never happen again, and I hope you can forgive me.

Bob is shocked, staring at his phone in disbelief, when he receives a second text.

Bloody spell check, I meant WiFi.

Joe Rocket · « **Reply #308 on:** June 24, 2019, 17:30:41 »

I think that's a really good joke and I'll be getting a petition up to move it to the 'OK, ordinary jokes' section as it deserves a giggle more than a groan........

BTW that doesn't work with HIFI...........

SteveO · « **Reply #309 on:** June 26, 2019, 22:56:25 »

A slice of apple pie in Jamaica is $2.50, in the Bahamas it’s $3.00.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

SteveO · « **Reply #310 on:** June 26, 2019, 22:59:42 »

My wife complains that I never buy her flowers.

To be honest, I didn’t know she sold flowers.

StromGeeza · « **Reply #311 on:** June 27, 2019, 09:50:35 »

Reminds me of...
Husband 'Why don't you tell me when you're having an orgasm'
Wife 'Because you're not there'

kwackboy · « **Reply #312 on:** July 02, 2019, 14:58:00 »

john storrie 69 · « **Reply #313 on:** July 02, 2019, 19:08:19 »

Kwack wear boxing gloves in bed

kwackboy · « **Reply #314 on:** July 19, 2019, 22:23:26 »

Paddy says to Mick " how did you get on at that faith healing group last night".?

Mick says " it was absolutely shite" , even the disable bloke in the wheelchair got up and walked out ...

Dozz · « **Reply #315 on:** July 20, 2019, 08:08:10 »

Was riding past the cash machine yesterday, was intrigued by a bloke standing at it on one leg so quickly turned round and asked " what are you doing?
"Just checking my balance"

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #316 on:** July 20, 2019, 09:44:32 »

I have been setting up a new plumbing business.

It's taken a while but now, it's all cisterns go!

Joe Rocket · « **Reply #317 on:** August 09, 2019, 21:02:47 »

I've never been to a KFC..........

..........but it's on my bucket list.

MartinW · « **Reply #318 on:** August 09, 2019, 21:34:20 »

Joe Rocket · « **Reply #319 on:** August 09, 2019, 21:52:07 »

Martin, the joke should be applauded because it is a really BAD joke. Groaning at it means it shouldn't be here......no?