Author Topic: REALLY Bad Jokes (Read 166426 times)

Joe Rocket · « **Reply #1560 on:** June 08, 2023, 16:35:20 »

Why do all German girls have the same telephone number?

Try asking a few, they'll answer 9 9 9 9.

Brockett · « **Reply #1561 on:** June 09, 2023, 21:06:26 »

Last night just before I fell asleep 10 times I said "I want to look younger".
When I woke up I had a bad case of acne

Mr Nick · « **Reply #1562 on:** June 12, 2023, 21:32:27 »

To whomever stole my Microsoft office, I will find you.

You have my Word...

Brockett · « **Reply #1563 on:** June 12, 2023, 22:39:45 »

My grandson asked his dad why teenagers get a spotty face. His dad said " It's facial braille so blind people can understand why they are being so bloody unreasonable

kwackboy · « **Reply #1564 on:** June 21, 2023, 06:13:07 »

Too soon .. ?

Hugo Magnus · « **Reply #1565 on:** June 25, 2023, 06:33:43 »

What did Spartacus do when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing, he was Gladiator.

Mr Nick · « **Reply #1566 on:** June 27, 2023, 10:37:10 »

I've decided to kill of a few characters in the book I'm writing: it should spice up my autobiography quite nicely...

Hugo Magnus · « **Reply #1567 on:** June 27, 2023, 21:36:19 »

Without nipples breasts would be pointless.

studlyone · « **Reply #1568 on:** June 27, 2023, 21:39:46 »

What time did the man go to the dentist?

Tooth hurt-y.

MartinW · « **Reply #1569 on:** June 27, 2023, 21:51:39 »

Why are there so many planes at the bottom of our seas, but not one submarine in the sky?

kwackboy · « **Reply #1570 on:** June 28, 2023, 06:21:27 »

What do you get when you mix an elephant and a rhino?

El-if-I-know...

Hugo Magnus · « **Reply #1571 on:** June 30, 2023, 07:41:28 »

The FDA have just approved a new drug for depressed lesbians, Tricoxagen

Graham62 · « **Reply #1572 on:** July 01, 2023, 07:15:59 »

I have managed to successfully weigh a rainbow.

Turns out it's pretty light.

MartinW · « **Reply #1573 on:** July 01, 2023, 16:07:34 »

She came from Greece, she had a faulty socket,

Her eye fell out and she couldn't stop it,

That's when I, do do do-do do do do, caught her eye.

Joe Rocket · « **Reply #1574 on:** July 03, 2023, 19:35:01 »

Shakespeare. Did he write his plays in pencil?

2B or not 2B, that is the question.

Joe Rocket · « **Reply #1575 on:** July 03, 2023, 19:43:26 »

Do you know how much a chicken pie costs in Jamaica? £2.25. Whereas a beef pie in Barbados costs £3.50. Trinidad and Tobago apple pies are only £1.50.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

Brockett · « **Reply #1576 on:** July 03, 2023, 20:33:38 »

Once upon a time there was three bears
Mummy bear
Daddy bear
and little Fred bear ( his fur was wearing out)

Hugo Magnus · « **Reply #1577 on:** July 09, 2023, 20:29:18 »

I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees.

He counted and gave me 13.

“Sir, you gave me an extra."

"That's a freebie."

MartinW · « **Reply #1578 on:** July 10, 2023, 05:22:04 »

I live at number 13 and wanted to buy some big sticky numbers for my Wheelie Bin.

Fortunately the shop had a buy one, get one three deal.

MartinW · « **Reply #1579 on:** July 12, 2023, 20:51:48 »