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Suzuki V-Strom (VStrom) Owners Club DL250, DL650, DL1000 & DL1050
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REALLY Bad Jokes
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Topic: REALLY Bad Jokes (Read 142221 times)
0 Members and 3 Guests are viewing this topic.
Joe Rocket
Member
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2526
Bike: DL650A L5, Kawasaki GPX750R
Location: Brittany
Re: REALLY Bad Jokes
«
Reply #1560 on:
June 08, 2023, 16:35:20 »
Why do all German girls have the same telephone number?
Try asking a few, they'll answer 9 9 9 9.
Logged
So how's it going so far then?
Brockett
Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 8546
Bike: 2022 Moto Guzzi 850 V7 special in blue, 2022 850 V7 Stone in darkest black, 1998 XJ600n in red
Location: Tendring in the Far North East (of Essex)
Re: REALLY Bad Jokes
«
Reply #1561 on:
June 09, 2023, 21:06:26 »
Last night just before I fell asleep 10 times I said "I want to look younger".
When I woke up I had a bad case of acne
Logged
This doesn't last forever, so do it while you can.
Mr Nick
Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 3234
Certified Fisher Price trained technician
Bike: 1979 Suzuki TS185ER, 1979 Moto Guzzi V50, 1989 Moto Guzzi SP3, 2010 KTM 990 Adv
Location: Fife
Re: REALLY Bad Jokes
«
Reply #1562 on:
June 12, 2023, 21:32:27 »
To whomever stole my Microsoft office, I will find you.
You have my Word...
Logged
Seems pearl asbo orange is faster after all....
'Don't believe all the quotes in forum signatures' - Aristotle
'Ehh, good enough' - Mediocretes
Orange Bikes Matter!
Brockett
Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 8546
Bike: 2022 Moto Guzzi 850 V7 special in blue, 2022 850 V7 Stone in darkest black, 1998 XJ600n in red
Location: Tendring in the Far North East (of Essex)
Re: REALLY Bad Jokes
«
Reply #1563 on:
June 12, 2023, 22:39:45 »
My grandson asked his dad why teenagers get a spotty face. His dad said " It's facial braille so blind people can understand why they are being so bloody unreasonable
Logged
This doesn't last forever, so do it while you can.
kwackboy
Member
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 6872
Bike: BMW F800GS Adventure, Honda CB500s & SH300i
Location: Londonistan
Re: REALLY Bad Jokes
«
Reply #1564 on:
June 21, 2023, 06:13:07 »
Too soon .. ?
Logged
Chief trouble maker 🙂
Hugo Magnus
Ride Coordinator
Member
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 3304
Bike: DL650A L3, DR-Z400s Multistrada 1260ST
Location: Dorset
Re: REALLY Bad Jokes
«
Reply #1565 on:
June 25, 2023, 06:33:43 »
What did Spartacus do when the lion ate his wife?
Nothing, he was Gladiator.
Logged
The interruptions ARE the journey (Ted Simon)
Ride Coordinator
Mr Nick
Member
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 3234
Certified Fisher Price trained technician
Bike: 1979 Suzuki TS185ER, 1979 Moto Guzzi V50, 1989 Moto Guzzi SP3, 2010 KTM 990 Adv
Location: Fife
Re: REALLY Bad Jokes
«
Reply #1566 on:
June 27, 2023, 10:37:10 »
I've decided to kill of a few characters in the book I'm writing: it should spice up my autobiography quite nicely...
Logged
Seems pearl asbo orange is faster after all....
'Don't believe all the quotes in forum signatures' - Aristotle
'Ehh, good enough' - Mediocretes
Orange Bikes Matter!
Hugo Magnus
Ride Coordinator
Member
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 3304
Bike: DL650A L3, DR-Z400s Multistrada 1260ST
Location: Dorset
Re: REALLY Bad Jokes
«
Reply #1567 on:
June 27, 2023, 21:36:19 »
Without nipples breasts would be pointless.
Logged
The interruptions ARE the journey (Ted Simon)
Ride Coordinator
studlyone
Member
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 38
If ain't broke, keep fixing it until it is.
Bike: DL1000 K6
Location: Ashbourne, Derbyshire
Re: REALLY Bad Jokes
«
Reply #1568 on:
June 27, 2023, 21:39:46 »
What time did the man go to the dentist?
Tooth hurt-y.
Logged
Ex rider of a
carrot
coloured 650GT
Now riding a black 2006 DL1000.
MartinW
Administrator
Member
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 12799
Bike: DL650 K4 Blue
Location: Swindon
Re: REALLY Bad Jokes
«
Reply #1569 on:
June 27, 2023, 21:51:39 »
Why are there so many planes at the bottom of our seas, but not one submarine in the sky?
Logged
Tall, Dark and Handsome (In 1987) - Just tall now !!
Chief Stasi
kwackboy
Member
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 6872
Bike: BMW F800GS Adventure, Honda CB500s & SH300i
Location: Londonistan
Re: REALLY Bad Jokes
«
Reply #1570 on:
June 28, 2023, 06:21:27 »
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a rhino?
El-if-I-know...
Logged
Chief trouble maker 🙂
Hugo Magnus
Ride Coordinator
Member
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 3304
Bike: DL650A L3, DR-Z400s Multistrada 1260ST
Location: Dorset
Re: REALLY Bad Jokes
«
Reply #1571 on:
June 30, 2023, 07:41:28 »
The FDA have just approved a new drug for depressed lesbians, Tricoxagen
Logged
The interruptions ARE the journey (Ted Simon)
Ride Coordinator
Graham62
Member
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 2657
Bike: DL650 K6 Blue
Location: Mansfield Nottinghamshire
Re: REALLY Bad Jokes
«
Reply #1572 on:
July 01, 2023, 07:15:59 »
I have managed to successfully weigh a rainbow.
Turns out it's pretty light.
Logged
A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
Graham
MartinW
Administrator
Member
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 12799
Bike: DL650 K4 Blue
Location: Swindon
Re: REALLY Bad Jokes
«
Reply #1573 on:
July 01, 2023, 16:07:34 »
She came from Greece, she had a faulty socket,
Her eye fell out and she couldn't stop it,
That's when I, do do do-do do do do, caught her eye.
Logged
Tall, Dark and Handsome (In 1987) - Just tall now !!
Chief Stasi
Joe Rocket
Member
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2526
Bike: DL650A L5, Kawasaki GPX750R
Location: Brittany
Re: REALLY Bad Jokes
«
Reply #1574 on:
July 03, 2023, 19:35:01 »
Shakespeare. Did he write his plays in pencil?
2B or not 2B, that is the question.
Logged
So how's it going so far then?
Joe Rocket
Member
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 2526
Bike: DL650A L5, Kawasaki GPX750R
Location: Brittany
Re: REALLY Bad Jokes
«
Reply #1575 on:
July 03, 2023, 19:43:26 »
Do you know how much a chicken pie costs in Jamaica? £2.25. Whereas a beef pie in Barbados costs £3.50. Trinidad and Tobago apple pies are only £1.50.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
Logged
So how's it going so far then?
Brockett
Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 8546
Bike: 2022 Moto Guzzi 850 V7 special in blue, 2022 850 V7 Stone in darkest black, 1998 XJ600n in red
Location: Tendring in the Far North East (of Essex)
Re: REALLY Bad Jokes
«
Reply #1576 on:
July 03, 2023, 20:33:38 »
Once upon a time there was three bears
Mummy bear
Daddy bear
and little Fred bear ( his fur was wearing out)
Logged
This doesn't last forever, so do it while you can.
Hugo Magnus
Ride Coordinator
Member
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 3304
Bike: DL650A L3, DR-Z400s Multistrada 1260ST
Location: Dorset
Re: REALLY Bad Jokes
«
Reply #1577 on:
July 09, 2023, 20:29:18 »
I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees.
He counted and gave me 13.
“Sir, you gave me an extra."
"That's a freebie."
Logged
The interruptions ARE the journey (Ted Simon)
Ride Coordinator
MartinW
Administrator
Member
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 12799
Bike: DL650 K4 Blue
Location: Swindon
Re: REALLY Bad Jokes
«
Reply #1578 on:
July 10, 2023, 05:22:04 »
I live at number 13 and wanted to buy some big sticky numbers for my Wheelie Bin.
Fortunately the shop had a buy one, get one three deal.
Logged
Tall, Dark and Handsome (In 1987) - Just tall now !!
Chief Stasi
MartinW
Administrator
Member
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 12799
Bike: DL650 K4 Blue
Location: Swindon
Re: REALLY Bad Jokes
«
Reply #1579 on:
July 12, 2023, 20:51:48 »
.
Logged
Tall, Dark and Handsome (In 1987) - Just tall now !!
Chief Stasi
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Suzuki V-Strom (VStrom) Owners Club DL250, DL650, DL1000 & DL1050
»
Other Stuff
»
The Blue Oyster bar
»
Humour
»
REALLY Bad Jokes