Author Topic: REALLY Bad Jokes (Read 142588 times)

V-Twin · « **Reply #1420 on:** February 04, 2023, 16:32:59 »

Looks armless enough.
Perhaps he's just limbering up.

kwackboy · « **Reply #1421 on:** February 05, 2023, 16:20:33 »

I’ve done a survey on how people walk home from the pub.

The results are staggering

SteveO · « **Reply #1422 on:** February 06, 2023, 19:03:23 »

kwackboy · « **Reply #1423 on:** February 06, 2023, 19:19:43 »

I got thrown out of Mime Club yesterday...

It must have been something I said.

Mr Nick · « **Reply #1424 on:** February 07, 2023, 09:15:14 »

Joe Rocket · « **Reply #1425 on:** February 07, 2023, 22:08:05 »

Don't bother Mr Nick....if it isn't a 'U' or or better an 'S' measure you're wasting your time.

Mr Nick · « **Reply #1426 on:** February 09, 2023, 17:42:18 »

Just had some great financial news, and it couldn’t have come at a better time with the cost of living crisis.

The kid I sponsored in Africa has been eaten by a lion.

MartinW · « **Reply #1427 on:** February 09, 2023, 20:26:41 »

V-Twin · « **Reply #1428 on:** February 09, 2023, 22:19:32 »

Well at least the Lion will sleep well tonight.
In the Jungle the mighty Jungle the Lion eats tonight...

I'll get me coat.

kwackboy · « **Reply #1429 on:** February 11, 2023, 18:58:34 »

BREAKING NEWS!
Explorers have discovered what is thought to be the world’s largest bedsheet.

More on this story as it unfolds

Mr Nick · « **Reply #1430 on:** February 14, 2023, 22:51:33 »

Since it's that day...

Roses are red
Violets Are blue
So goes the age old rhyme

But I know that
Violet's are red and Rose's are blue
I've seen them hanging on the line

The Doctor 46 · « **Reply #1431 on:** February 16, 2023, 15:26:19 »

There are drunk bikers. There are old bikers. There are NO old, drunk bikers.

The wind was so strong last night I really struggled to light my cigarette. Eventually, after 20 minutes of trying, I gave in and stopped my motorbike on the hard shoulder.

Hugo Magnus · « **Reply #1432 on:** February 16, 2023, 15:49:31 »

you needed a hard shoulder to cry on?

V-Twin · « **Reply #1433 on:** February 16, 2023, 16:10:15 »

This is why I need a hard shoulder.....

SteveO · « **Reply #1434 on:** February 17, 2023, 21:42:30 »

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #1435 on:** February 18, 2023, 15:49:52 »

Mr Nick · « **Reply #1436 on:** February 21, 2023, 13:11:42 »

For sale: Muhammad Ali DVD set and a George Foreman Grill.

Both boxed.

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #1437 on:** February 21, 2023, 21:39:30 »

I had a go at eating a clock today but it was very time consuming,
especially when I went for seconds.

Barbel Mick · « **Reply #1438 on:** February 21, 2023, 21:43:15 »

I have accused my wife of putting glue on the stocks of my firearms.
She denies it and says it must be someone else.
I say it's her and I'm sticking to my guns!

Rusty Nuts · « **Reply #1439 on:** February 21, 2023, 22:06:17 »

I started a new diet today. The F plan diet's old now, this is the G plan diet. I'm eating furniture. Very filling, I can never finish my suite. And I'm passing some lovely stools.