Author Topic: REALLY Bad Jokes (Read 154802 times)

Mick_P · « **on:** August 06, 2014, 19:38:14 »

Just wondering if members know any REALLY bad jokes. No dirty or racist jokes and no defamatory jokes either please.

Here's a starter.

A duck was waiting at the kerb to cross the road, when a dog came up and said 'I wouldn't do that if I were you. A chicken crossed here once and they've never shut up about it.'

2112 · « **Reply #1 on:** August 06, 2014, 20:06:50 »

What's red and invisible ?

No tomatoes...

tallpaul · « **Reply #2 on:** August 06, 2014, 21:35:32 »

Now who's been raiding the Christmas crackers?!

Rochdale Hornet · « **Reply #3 on:** August 07, 2014, 13:20:48 »

Two blondes walk into a building... you would have thought one of them would have seen it!

TLPower · « **Reply #4 on:** August 07, 2014, 13:33:33 »

What's black and white and eats like a horse?

A zebra.

tallpaul · « **Reply #5 on:** August 07, 2014, 13:36:07 »

Guess who I bumped into at specsavers? Feckin' everyone!

tallpaul · « **Reply #6 on:** August 07, 2014, 13:42:46 »

Quote from: "TLPower"

What's black and white and eats like a horse?

A zebra.

Herd (!) that one before...

ProfG · « **Reply #7 on:** August 07, 2014, 13:43:05 »

What's Algebra?

It's a zebra that bites like a cobra.

2112 · « **Reply #8 on:** August 07, 2014, 19:35:10 »

What do you call a man with jelly in one ear and sponge in the other ?

A trifle deaf !

medic5 · « **Reply #9 on:** August 07, 2014, 21:36:10 »

Ryan Air, Easy Jet, Thompson, monarch .....

Oh and........BMW

krisv · « **Reply #10 on:** August 07, 2014, 23:49:00 »

How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool!

Jacko · « **Reply #11 on:** August 08, 2014, 06:56:27 »

Doesn't quite work on here.

tallpaul · « **Reply #12 on:** August 08, 2014, 07:02:34 »

Yes, that anti-septic thingy kills everything!

Mel · « **Reply #13 on:** August 08, 2014, 07:45:02 »

Two tomatoes were crossing a road. The first tomato was nearly smashed by a car , but jumped back in the last second.
The other said:
See what you did! You just fecked up a good joke!

Rochdale Hornet · « **Reply #14 on:** August 08, 2014, 07:53:32 »

An Ice Cream man was found dead on the floor of his van covered with Hundreds and Thousands. Police say that he topped himself...

Brockett · « **Reply #15 on:** August 08, 2014, 20:34:59 »

In the Optician's Window...... Two monocles making a spectacle of themselves.

Rochdale Hornet · « **Reply #16 on:** August 08, 2014, 23:34:31 »

Somebody complemented me on my driving the other day, they left a note on my windscreen which said "Parking Fine", which I thought was nice of them...

2112 · « **Reply #17 on:** August 09, 2014, 10:29:45 »

I stopped a large gentleman covered in tattoos the other day to ask for directions.

"what's the quickest way to get to the hospital mate" I said.

"Call me a twat" he replied....

Rusty Nuts · « **Reply #18 on:** August 09, 2014, 18:03:16 »

A very rich, very small man went on trial in a foreign land for bribery. Part way through the trial, he gave £60 million to, er, somebody. The trial went away.
....Oh, hang on, that appears to be true.

Mick_P · « **Reply #19 on:** August 09, 2014, 20:27:24 »

Why do the French only have one egg for breakfast?

Becasue one Oeuf is enough....... :animals-chickencatch:

Author Topic: REALLY Bad Jokes (Read 154802 times)

ProfG