Author Topic: The moaning old git thread (Read 391193 times)

Nix · « **Reply #180 on:** July 16, 2012, 18:19:16 »

Quote from: "karleahdc"

I had one of those this weekend...

Caller: Hello, I’m calling from your ISP
Me: Hello
Caller: Have you noticed your computer is running slow?
Me: No
Caller: Well it is, I can see it is.
Me: Ah, OK
Caller: Is your computer on?
Me: No. (Actually, it was.)
Caller: Can you turn it on for me please? (He was lying wasn’t he?)
Me: Hold on, I’ll ask the cat.
Caller: Sorry? The cat?
Me: Yes, he’s on the table next to the computer, he’s closer than me.
Caller: Errrrr… OK
Long paws (sorry, couldn’t resist that)
Caller: Is your computer on yet?
Me: The cat is confused
Caller: The cat is confused?
Me: Yes, he says the computer was on all along but you said you could see it.
Caller: I can if you can just open something for me.
Me: I can’t reach, I’ll ask the cat again.
Caller: Sorry?
Me: I’ll ask the cat again.
Caller: Ask the cat what?
Me: To open something on the computer
Caller: He can do that?
Me: Of course not.
Caller: You need to take this seriously, if you don’t update your settings I will be forced to block your ISP
(It had to come some time didn’t it?)
Me: Ah, right-ho. Can you just confirm the address on my ISP account please?
Silence

Three minutes and fifty-eight seconds – I checked the phone timing; 3:58 of my life that was more fun than just telling him to *u*k o*f; 3:58 of his life wasted talking to an idiot with a cat, 3:58 when he couldn’t try to scam someone else

Very good!

Reminds me of the bloke who pretended he was a police detective to one of these callers. He said he was investigating a murder and at the crime scene NOW. He then told the caller not to hang up as he might be a suspect in said murder case. The cold caller started to sh*t himself and had to stay on the line for quite a while!

Beautiful!

Piglumps · « **Reply #181 on:** July 16, 2012, 19:33:55 »

Quote from: "Nix"

Reminds me of the bloke who pretended he was a police detective to one of these callers. He said he was investigating a murder and at the crime scene NOW. He then told the caller not to hang up as he might be a suspect in said murder case. The cold caller started to sh*t himself and had to stay on the line for quite a while!

Beautiful!

That is GOOD!

Piglumps · « **Reply #182 on:** July 16, 2012, 19:40:29 »

While on the subject of phone calls we used to live in a house whose phone number was similar to our local Hartwells garage - many calls were like this:

Ring ring...
Me: Hello,
Caller: Is that Hartwells?
Me: No
Caller: Are you sure?

:wtf:

Or my favourite way of dealing was this:

Ring ring...
Me: Hello?
Caller: Is that Hartwells?
Me: No but hold the line while I ask my mum if we have become Hartwells over the last few days and she hasn't told me.....
Caller then usually hung up at this point but a couple waited.....

SimonW · « **Reply #183 on:** July 16, 2012, 23:12:16 »

Quote from: "Nix"

Reminds me of the bloke who pretended he was a police detective to one of these callers. He said he was investigating a murder and at the crime scene NOW. He then told the caller not to hang up as he might be a suspect in said murder case. The cold caller started to sh*t himself and had to stay on the line for quite a while!

Beautiful!

http://www.myspace.com/video/some-blue- ... y/16733006

frez · « **Reply #184 on:** July 23, 2012, 09:35:08 »

It pisses me off when insulation/double glazing salesmen try to sell me their crap when I'm leaving B&Q. It's bad enough them phoning me up every other day now they pounce on me outside stores too.

Fat Rat · « **Reply #185 on:** July 23, 2012, 10:37:20 »

Quote from: "SimonW"

http://www.myspace.com/video/some-blue-devil/telemarketer-prank-cold-call-very-funny/16733006

Thanks, I hadn't heard that in a while

Andy M · « **Reply #186 on:** July 30, 2012, 17:59:43 »

Mobile ***ing phone companies

Like a fool I decided it was time to join this decade and trade the old push button thingy for one with web and GPS. That's it, I want to be able to find out how late KLM or Northern Rail will make me, get my ticket or boarding pass in seconds, text the wife to tell her then find a bar with proper beer to run up some expenses in. I don't care less if It's an android or R2*******D2 or a Ipad or Iron. (I might do actually, want to be able to load my own music, not rent theirs). I don't use the camera or make videos or play angry birds or upload screen savers or even really make phone calls.

So, fool that I am I go on Virgin Mobiles website. I click existing customer and find they can do me a phone for £21 a month. Happy to pay that, not happy to wait in all day so visit their shop. Shop can't do anything, they haven't got the interweb working. I wish them luck calling Virgin Media customers services unless they have a fluent Hindi speaker to hand. They do however tell me that If I click buy online all I need to do is ring and cancel the existing number.

Oh it were this simple. I ring and get a better deal, only £11 a month. However, to use the new number on the phone they are sending me (I want a fresh start, Gritish Bass and the job agencies can talk to the dead line) I need to ring back when it gets here. OK, I say, no worries, talk to you on Saturday.

In the last hour I've had six texts changing the contract I'm on!

Not one of them is listed on their website so I could be paying off the cost of their new Airbus with every text.

Tempted to ignore the doorbell on Saturday, hide from the courier and go visit the O2 shop.

I've cancelled the standing order, let the ****s ring me to sort it out!

Andy

Fatbelly · « **Reply #187 on:** July 30, 2012, 21:47:37 »

Airbus? ha, ha!

Don't fall for the marketing. Virgin owns about 11% of Virgin Media and Branson owns a minority share of that. He is simply the "glamour model" in the adverts. There is no connection to any other "Virgin" brands - in fact some of them have no connection to Virgin Group at all except that they rent a name from them.

SimonW · « **Reply #188 on:** July 30, 2012, 23:31:36 »

People who call the Wee2 a Glee....

Frenchie · « **Reply #189 on:** July 31, 2012, 01:12:50 »

I am clearly more of a moaning old git than my 37 years of age or pride would have me believe.

I stopped at the supermarket on Friday afternoon to buy a few things for tea and if I am honest I was not in the best of moods. After gathering the items I needed I made my way to the till, put them on the belt and waited patiently. Unfortunately the woman in front of me was friends with the one of the till and decided to 'catch up' and share life stories. A quick hi, are you OK, ring me and we'll have coffee is no trouble but even though she had paid for her items she stood and spent 4 minutes (I timed her) explaining how her daughter had missed her exams because she fell pregnant but the baby was lovely and she can resist the last year of school at the local college blah blah flipping blah.

By this time, having restrained myself as long as possible I rather loudly pointed out that whilst I am relieved her daughter can retake the whole school year after getting knocked up I was in a rush, she needs to get out of my way and let her friend behind the till do her job and serve me before I call the manager over to explain to her why she gets paid.

Obviously I will be going to another supermarket now as a result of my shame and embarrassment

Frenchie · « **Reply #190 on:** July 31, 2012, 01:29:48 »

Oh and people who say 'like' and 'proper' all the time for example "I was like proper late". So you wasn't actually late but you was something that was similar to being late, proper late of course and not that pretend late.

Or the latest thing I've noticed is young people saying totes instead of totally and amaze instead of amazing. For instance that film was totes amaze.

Blimey I think I'm giving myself a head rush up here on my soap box

Fatbelly · « **Reply #191 on:** July 31, 2012, 09:31:53 »

People who say "wasn't" when they mean weren't.

Sharpy · « **Reply #192 on:** July 31, 2012, 09:35:05 »

Bikers who insist on getting ahead of you as they are clearly "better, faster, Rossi" when it comes to biking, only to get in the flipping way at the sight of a corner, or indeed the opportunity to filter.

People who knock you off your push bike, breaking 3 of your ribs and writing off you £1200 push bike and then refuse to tell thier insurance comapny and then deny liabilty!

Fatbelly · « **Reply #193 on:** July 31, 2012, 09:41:43 »

Just spent a few days in the far North. Pretty wild weather at some points. As usual the biggest hazard by far was bloody bicycle boys! They must cause a huge amount of accidents. Selfish, ignorant, arrogant.

Sharpy · « **Reply #194 on:** July 31, 2012, 09:46:24 »

Quote from: "Fatbelly"

Just spent a few days in the far North. Pretty wild weather at some points. As usual the biggest hazard by far was bloody bicycle boys! They must cause a huge amount of accidents. Selfish, ignorant, arrogant.

Don't start that one, I am a "bicycle boy" and will defend myself aggresively if required :violence-uzi:

By far the biggest threat to me when I am on the bicyle is selfish, ignorant and arrogant bikers....

Certainly the most underthreat I have felt was when I was riding a bokg biker road and big groups of bikers decided to "buzz" past and high speed only a few inches from my bars, had I had to take avoiding action, for a pothole for example, I would have been toast.

frez · « **Reply #195 on:** July 31, 2012, 10:09:46 »

Oh go on then, defend cyclists riding on pavements forcing pedestrians to step into the road, riding through red lights forcing other road users to take avoiding action, riding through pedestrian crossing while a pedestrian is trying to cross, riding 3 abreast on a narrow country road so you cannot pass them, throwing their food wrappers on the road, riding without lights or reflectors at night, and that's just ones I've seen in the last couple of weeks.

Sharpy · « **Reply #196 on:** July 31, 2012, 10:17:53 »

Quote from: "frez"

Oh go on then, defend cyclists riding on pavements forcing pedestrians to step into the road, riding through red lights forcing other road users to take avoiding action, riding through pedestrian crossing while a pedestrian is trying to cross, riding 3 abreast on a narrow country road so you cannot pass them, throwing their food wrappers on the road, riding without lights or reflectors at night, and that's just ones I've seen in the last couple of weeks.

Can't defend the idiots.... the initial statement is quite sweeping.

I am an advocate, as with motorbiking, of the use of common sense and adhering to the rules of the road, it furstrates the hell out of me when I see cyclists doing the above. Does not help with the image, much like the idiots on motorbike, idiots in cars, idiots on foot, idiots in trucks, idiots in buses etc, etc....

Everything you report above is bang out of order, but I should think that is the minority (certainly it is in the circles I cycle in).

Catballou · « **Reply #197 on:** July 31, 2012, 10:18:56 »

This is the moaning old git thread, not the cyclists are a bunch of w***ers thread, just type cyclist into the search box in general discussion and join one of the many threads already started

Now............. when they ride three abreast yacking like old ladies

Sharpy · « **Reply #198 on:** July 31, 2012, 10:22:39 »

Sorry... Just an emotive issue for me!

:violin:

Countrysailor · « **Reply #199 on:** July 31, 2012, 10:27:51 »

Quote from: "frez"

Oh go on then, defend cyclists riding on pavements forcing pedestrians to step into the road, riding through red lights forcing other road users to take avoiding action, riding through pedestrian crossing while a pedestrian is trying to cross, riding 3 abreast on a narrow country road so you cannot pass them, throwing their food wrappers on the road, riding without lights or reflectors at night, and that's just ones I've seen in the last couple of weeks.

And as for the old ones dressed in Tour de France team colour Lycra, what's that all about?