TOP TIPS (things not to do...)

[2112]

   

Never buy a Chinese bike, really don't they're absolute shite !

[Piglumps]

   

Never buy a Chinese bike, really don't they're absolute shite !

Your have one, then 20 minutes later you want another...

[2112]

I was 'coerced' into helping a 'mate' out who needed some cash and bought his jizmop (or whatever it was called) 200 off him (trailie styled with a big bore CG125 derived engine). What a heap of crap ! With only 175 genuine miles on the clock it had developed a miss-fire (tappets, easily sorted), developed an oil leak (casing bolts slack, easily sorted), almost ran out of chain adjustment (came as standard with the wrong length chain (fairly easily sorted) really poor handling (easily sorted, just needed the rear wheel spacers fitted on the right side of the wheel so the wheel was central...) and had a weeping front fork oil seal (bit of a drama as the importer classed this as fair wear & tear in 175 miles !!! I did eventually get a seal kit to fit myself). Couple this with woefull panel fit and generally appaling build quality they are a potential deathtrap to the unwary.

Thankfully after all that I did manage to off load it for what I paid for it (£750). The lad who bought it blew it up after three months when he ran it out of oil.... Not the brightest bulb in the box bless him.

So, don't buy chinese bikes and don't let Your impoverished mates sob stories cloud your judgement - let their kids starve  

[Strommer]

Don't assume that a wobbly shift lever isn't a problem as "It's always been like that...."  

Funnily enough, it turns out they aren't meant to hang halfway out the bike showing an inch of thread....

Thankfully I spotted it in the car park and it just screws back in...

Might have another look at that wobbly clutch lever now....

[2112]

Don't forget your wifes birthday.... Ever.

[Keith Cross]

Don't forget your wife's birthday.... Ever.

Get a mistress to remind you (after making sure she hasn't got crabs or thrush of course), for the rich only of course.

Don't forget to fit the gear lever after a rebuild only to find out when you are already late for work.

Don't sell a bike to a mate, its really doesn't work well.

Keith C

[Gassoon]

Don't forget your wife's birthday.... Ever.

Get a mistress to remind you (after making sure she hasn't got crabs or thrush of course), for the rich only of course.

Don't forget to fit the gear lever after a rebuild only to find out when you are already late for work.

Don't sell a bike to a mate, its really doesn't work well.

Keith C

       +1 that last bit especially: for it is said that he "who shall selleth a bike (or a computer) unto a mate also includes an (unwritten) lifetime warranty and 24 hour helpline with home-start in the deal!"

[frez]

Likewise, be careful buying a bike off a mate.

I bought a CG125 off a mate, its exhaust was rotted and chain was shagged, so I replaced both with new items, replaced all the engine bolts with stainless hex bolts, passed my test on it and then sold it for more than I bought it from my mate for. I made the mistake of telling him how much I sold the bike for and he thought I had ripped him off when buying it even though I had spent a couple of hundred in the intervening time which I didn't get back.

[Keith Cross]

Like removing the bleed scrw form the botom of a set of air fornt forks,  Then just a split second later rememebring that you havent let the air pressure out.

Keith C
BTW did this on an old 1100 Golding several years ago and my garage wall still has the oil stains and as a constant reminder, with the old me in sillioute

[Gassoon]

Like removing the bleed scrw form the botom of a set of air fornt forks,  Then just a split second later rememebring that you havent let the air pressure out.

Keith C
BTW did this on an old 1100 Golding several years ago and my garage wall still has the oil stains and as a constant reminder, with the old me in sillioute

      class!

[MARBLE600]

When removing a Datatool alarm - why not pick up the soldering iron by the wrong end and see how closely you can emulate the sound of the alarm you have just failed to remove....

Typed one-handed.... :limp:

!!!!      

My big bro dogpuf always specialised in getting bikes with those irriating datatool alarms with there ferry mode etc :violence-uzi:  :violence-uzi:  

[Strommer]

When passing areas of new road, don't assume that the blacker stretch of tarmac is the same height as the old part.... especially if the road-workers had a sense of humour and have basically built a jump...  

..... cue me leaning forward to keep the front down, wondering why the road noise has gone but the engine noise has gone mental and simultaneously realising ".....erm...I'm airborne...." :obscene-tolietcrapper:

For a boring git rider like me it was surprisingly thrilling if rather unwanted....(restrictor had just come off and I was getting away from a bellend at the lights - purely accidental)

[2112]

Don't continue polishing your bike tank after you have dropped the polishing cloth. The grit it picks up makes an awfull mess of the paintwork....

[bencav]

Don't continue polishing your bike tank after you have dropped the polishing cloth. The grit it picks up makes an awfull mess of the paintwork....

UhOH - Has the Guzzi got an odd paint effect now? Hope not!!!

[2112]

No, thankfully not. A certain RD400 I had many moons ago ended up with some very artistic swirls accross the previously immaculate white paintwork.... I was not a happy bunny at the time. Fortunately, all my mates managed to see the funny side straight away, tw@'s.

[steve1962]

Oh that reminds me of another...

When you break down on the motorway, don't put your r1100rt on its side stand pointing down hill with your helmet on the seat while you go and use the roadside phone. An artic will pass in lane 1 and the turbulence will have your bike roll off its side stand and your helmet will roll into lane 1 to be run over by the next artic. So a reg rec failure turned out to be a whole lot more expensive that it might have been otherwise.

Here is another 1100 rt tip
More than two months after you have bought it and had time to remember it has an alarm fitted with a fob, don't spend an hour and a half trying to figure out why it won' t start after you have been doing work on it ........
Only to remember after you have taken all the bodywork off to investigate further .........

That you forgot to press the fob again when trying to start it ninety minutes earlier ........

Steve

[exbandit]

don't go over the speed limit to catch your mates lieing flat on the tank of your yamaha fs1s
waving to them as you pass them as blue flashing lights can be just 5 ft behind you ,they only ask for your lience so they can see it be for the magistrate keeps it for six months.

[exbandit]

don't ride from Hull to Leads when their is a national petrol shortage,because you can run out half way back on the top of the ouse bridge with a cross police man telling you not to play on his nice new motorway.

this happend on the same ride as my last tip!